I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
