i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
