im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
