help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
