Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
