We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
