I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
