she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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