meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
