You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
