Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
