god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize