I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
