My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
