Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
