Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize