do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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