I think i peed on brittanys purse
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
