I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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