Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
