i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
