she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize