i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize