when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
