So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
