I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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