i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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