well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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