He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i will never coherently bang her
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
