I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
