he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
