the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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