we're chasing vodka with high fives
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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