so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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