what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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