And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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