Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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