Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
