this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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