I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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