That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
