i think my mom watched the whole time
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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