If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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