Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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