just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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