i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
