Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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