I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
