This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
