this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she pinky promised me she was 18
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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