Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
