what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
should my penis look like a turkey
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
