i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
