Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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