we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
