just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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