so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i need an iv and a liver transplant
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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