Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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