bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
