there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
birth control should be required to get into college
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
