This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
