I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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