Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
