if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
