They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
