She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
