in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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