Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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