I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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