OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
